I fancy that a more detailed account of my inner experience may prove useful to you, Gentle Reader; perhaps you too have had such moments. The best description I can think of is by way of analogy: I felt exactly as I did in a dream I had some years ago.
I used to, in my youth, suffer from recurring nightmares in which I was for whatever reason at ground zero and thus immolated by a nuclear blast. Once, twice, sometimes three times a week. Last thought: 'Shit - you looked...' After a few years these were interspersed with similar dreams, only I was farther away; I had two weeks or so before I died. This dream was one of the latter kind.
A bomb had gone off, somewhere not near enough to kill me immediately. I was clinging to my mother in the middle of the dining room in the apartment where I grew up; all the furniture was strangely absent, and everything was both too bright and distinct and too devoid of color. I usualy dream in color; this dream I think was black and white. My mother and I were staring in horror at the radio, as if we could see what we were hearing; other than the static-laced voice from the radio, the entire world was strangely quiet. I remember thinking that was odd, how quiet everything else was, and then realizing with horror that that was one of those distracting thoughts one has when one is concentrating on something important, but the something important was not there. The announcement was in English, and, although I don't remember them now, I could clearly make out and understand the words individually, but together they made no sense. At all.
It wasn't that they were misleading, or specious, or lies: it was like they were in a language entirely unknown. That is how little relevance they bore to the situation I was in. I knew it was a Public Service Announcement of the Emergency Broadcast System. That's all.
I woke up drenched in sweat.
The Deepwater Horizon Event has the potential to be very very very bad. It doesn't matter who is at fault. If the human race mobilized, all of one purpose, like ants in determination, I am sure we could minimize this. I feel helpless. If what I was witnessing was the beginning of an Event which marked the extinction of my own species and I knew it, I am sure now that I would not know what to do or how or why. As I understand it, 'now' marks an Extinction Event more rapidly unfolding than that which did in the dinosaurs – but I still derive meaning fro life, since there is still hope. I hope that that remains the case. And I am frightened indeed. God help us.
Comments are always welcome.
Be seeing you.
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