Edward Snowden, American Hero,
Delivers A Holiday Message
Broadcast on Channel Four

Tell Them To Look It Up:
Stupid 'Nothing to Hide' Argument
Now On Wikipedia

Perhaps it could go something like this:

"Did you hear," I said, "that Snowden gave the alternate Christmas address that airs in Britain every year in response to the official one from the Crown?" I was never good at meaningless conversation.  I read the news.

"Really?"  He made a face like a small town accountant taking an enormous dump.  "I'm surprised they even give the time of day to such a traitor."

"Traitor?!" If you knew me, you'd be able to tell from the tones in my voice that any attempt to make small talk went out the window.  "You think he's a traitor?!  You didn't want to know about all the warrantless surveillance, the erosion of our civil liberties? Not to mention the damage done to the economy by the NSA having broken everything in order to get past encryption!  Not to mention the damage done to our reputation! Do you realize what it does to our economy? Who trusts American security?  Did you know RSA themselves said 'Don't use our software?'" 

Not to mention the blow to the creativity born of a free and open exchange of ideas.  

If we hadn't had the freedom to think, to hack, the innovation upon which the modern age is built would never have been born.  If this freedom is killed, prosperity dies with it, and all the promise of the internet age.  

But I would no doubt have not mentioned that, having noticed how, suddenly, you could hear a pin drop. I go on, projecting my voice, hoping for eloquence somehow.

"Aren't you afraid of how fascist and totalitarian the government has gotten?"

I can tell he thinks I am wrong, especially on the last point, and that I should be wrong.  "If we cannot stop them," I say, "at least now we can talk about it. Maybe, just maybe, if we are smart, we can defend against it!"  He is shaking his head patronizingly, righteously expecting to be agreed with.  I get a little emotional again, and say "Don't you.... You don't mind being spied on constantly?"

He shrugs his shoulders, smug.  "I don't get so...  stressed..."  -- he waves his drink in my general direction -- "about it, like some people. I don't see the point, and I have better things to do. Let them look at me,  I don't mind.  I'm not doing anything wrong, so I'm not worried."  And then he said it.

 "I don't have anything to hide."  

Well, Gentle Readers, happy tidings! Peace on earth furthered and good will propagated! Now you needn't dread the rest of the conversation; thanks to this gift to the world from the kind and wise folks at Wikipedia, you can just tell them to look it up.  Thank you, Wikipedia: I for one am saved countless future hours in which I will no longer need to risk engaging personally with such idiots. 

Lets hear it for all the time we'll save.  Hella cool.  You can even email someone a link processed through LMGTFY, if you are feeling especially snarky (I have appended an example; if can't see it, below, try going here).  

Think and do peace: a better world is possible.

Let's create it.

Be seeing you,