Big Turd May Prove To Be
From Recent Godzilla Rampage

by johanna faust.
Forensic analysis conducted on the stadium-sized turd discovered filling Center Park in the wake of Godzilla's recent rampage through downtown Metropolis has demonstrated, nearly conclusively, that the gigantic lizard may well indeed have been the culprit. Godzilla himself has said repeatedly that he does not defecate, and cites local stray dogs as possible sources. While it is true that a small percentage of the extensive and costly labwork, funded by the Metro Dept. of Parks and Recreation, remains inconclusive, it appears that enough evidence has been gathered to cast doubt on the lizard's claims.

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